


Rappin' with Cap

by animeisreality



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Humor, Not Canon Compliant, Not Captain America: Civil War (Movie) Compliant, Peter is a Little Shit, Post-Spider-Man: Homecoming, Team Dynamics, everyone is happy, everyone is in on it, poor steve, rappin with cap
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-06
Updated: 2018-06-06
Packaged: 2019-05-19 00:33:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,212
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14863265
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/animeisreality/pseuds/animeisreality
Summary: So, we're just gonna pretend that everyone is still friends and everyone gets along at the Avengers compound, okay? Okay. What happens when Peter decides to show Tony some education videos from dear old Cap? How long does it take for Steve to notice and how many times can they make the reference to Mr. Star spangled man with a plan?





	Rappin' with Cap

**Author's Note:**

> Now for your viewing pleasure, if you haven't seen it before or if you would like to refresh please watch our PSA:  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ohwJduwiAkk

“You don’t have to be injected with a super secret government serum to have strong muscles and bones. A well balanced diet is one of the best ways to help keep your body healthy. The food pyramid will help you find the balance.”

Peter sat in the bleachers, staring opened mouthed at the TV screen. Captain America, the Captain America, had filmed ‘life lessons’ for his high school gym class. The Captain that saved him from Doctor Doom. The Steve Rogers that helped him with his history homework. The Steve that can’t operate his smartphone without asking one of the other Avengers for help.

The other Avengers. Do they know? Peter thought. He pulled out his phone while his teacher was busy looking at his clipboard and started recording. He couldn’t wait to see Mr. Stark after school today.

\---------------

As soon as the final bell rang, Peter raced out of the building. He rushed to the Jaguar parked outside his school, nearly slamming into the side of the car in his excitement. When he opened the door, Peter started talking immediately.

“Oh my gosh, Mr. Stark, you’re not going to believe what happened in gym class today. We were shown this video-”

“Why are you in the front seat?”

Peter turned to see Happy sitting in the driver’s seat instead of Mr. Stark.

“Mr. Stark usually lets me sit in the front seat. But anyways, there’s this video of Mr. Rogers and-”

“Get in the backseat, kid.” Peter climbs into the backseat and starts talking again. Happy rolls up the partition and begins driving.

\-------------

When Peter arrived at the Avengers Compound he went straight to Mr. Stark’s lab. He burst in through the door, threw his backpack onto his workbench and rushed over to Mr. Stark.

“Okay, first of all, what did I tell you about throwing your backpack around in the lab? Second, why are you-?”

“I know, I know, but this is important.” Peter said as he fumbled for his phone.

“More important than lab safety protocol?” Tony asked. Peter said nothing as he handed his phone to Tony and watched his face as the video played.

Tony’s eyes widened while a smile grew from ear to ear. He looked at Peter and said, “This day just went from good to great.”

“Well, it’s about to get better.” Peter said. After a dramatic pause he whispered, “There’s more.”

“Kid, I’m gonna need those files.” Tony’s eyes gleamed, borderline manic. “The compound is about to educated by our lovely Cap.”

\----------------

The next morning was a rare occasion when everyone was awake early enough to see Peter off to school. The only person missing was the kid himself. At five minutes before Peter would normally leave, he came running through the kitchen.

“I am so gunna be late,” Peter said as he grabbed a piece of bread and shoved it in his mouth.

“So no breakfast today?” Nat asked. Peter shook his head as he made for the door. Tony saw his chance and took it.

“Wait, Peter!” Tony called out. Peter stopped before the elevator and looked at Tony. “You can’t leave without a lunch. You know,” he paused, looked at Cap then said, “A hot lunch is key to a well balanced diet and a healthy body.”

Clint snorted into his coffee and Peter struggled to keep the smile off his face as he ran out the door. 

Bruce turned away from the fridge, carton in hand. “I didn’t know you were the healthy type, Tony.”

Clint clapped the doctor on the shoulder, “Oh, I’ve got something you need to see.” 

Steve’s face was still frozen in a mask of confusion as he turned away from where Peter disappeared. He turned to Tony, glare already in place but he was met with Stark’s poor attempt at a face of innocence.

“Tony, you know you can’t hide when you’re doing something you shouldn’t be doing,” Steve said.

Before Tony could reply the alarm sounded to assemble.

\----------------

They were called to an explosion at a warehouse that turned out to be one of Hyrda’s bases. As Tony flew in from above he couldn’t help but start to snicker.

“What are you cackling about, Stark?” Rhodey asked over the comms.

“Oh, nothing,” Tony began. “Just that these Hydra people should know better than to set off illegal fireworks.”

Tony began to hear Rhodey snorting through his ear piece accompanied by Falcon saying, “Well, if any of you catch on fire, remember to stop, drop, and roll.”

Steve looked at Falcon with dawning realization that the rest of the group understood what Tony was referencing and that he didn’t know.

Bucky’s voice crackled over the comms, “One more time, everybody, say it with me now-”

Natasha chimed, “Stop.”

Clint, “Drop.”

Wanda, “And roll.”

Falcon looked at Bucky, both wearing shit-eating grins while Steve glanced between the two of them.

“The two of you getting along,” Steve said. “I’m not used to it.”

Back on the hellacarrier, once everyone was seated, Bruce cleared his throat and smiled. “I understood that reference.”

Steve squinted at the doctor as he left the table.

\---------------

That night everyone was relaxing in their own way. Nat and Clint were watching a movie about ninjas. Tony was helping Peter practice for the decathlon. Wanda was helping Vision improve his cooking skills. Steve was catching up on his reading with Harry Potter.

“Alright, kid, break time. Go grab us some chips and dip,” Tony said. He looked over at Cap at just the right moment and saw him scratch his head. Tony was about to say something when Vision spoke up from the kitchen.

“It’s okay, Captain. Don’t be afraid,” Everyone looked at Vision in confusion before he continued, “Stand up, keep your head held high, and be a hero.”

Wanda dropped the jar of spice she held in her hand as she fell to the floor laughing. Steve slammed his book shut as he stood to face the room.

“Alright, that’s enough. Someone tell me what’s going on.” Steve demanded angrily.

Thor walked into the room as he heard Cap shout. He walked over to his friend, clapped him on the shoulder and said in a serious tone, “It’s alright, Steve. Your body is going through some changes so your hormones will be out of sorts. It’s okay to feel angry sometimes.”

Peter wheezed next to Wanda on the floor, chips and dip forgotten. Clint shoved his face into the couch cushions and Natasha hid her smile behind her fist. Tony sat at the table with the biggest smile on his face and got up to hug Vision, who returned it with some confusion.

Steve brushed off Thor’s hand and glared at each person in the room before stomping down the hallway.

Clint emerged from the cushions, “Did you see his face?”

“Who knew our Captain could get that angry,” Tony replied as he went to pick up the chips from the floor.

\-----------------

The next day everyone was in the war room waiting to be briefed on their next long term assignments. The Avengers could feel the tension in the air as Steve pouted in his chair and refused to make eye contact with anyone.

Natasha, Bruce and Tony stood next to the coffee machine in the corner of the room. They watched as Cap leafed through the briefing packet. Each flick of the page slightly more forceful than the last.

“As fun as teasing Steve is, we should probably lay off for a few days,” Natasha whispered to them.

“Yeah, that’s not happening,” Tony said as he sipped his coffee.

“Come on, Tony, Cap is really angry,” Bruce whispered.

Tony looked at Bruce and sighed. “Fine, we’ll give Capsicle a break.”

Nick Fury walked into the room followed by another agent. He went to the head of the table and said, “Alright, let’s get this started. This is Agent Rovelle who will be partnered with some of you on your individual missions.”

Steve gave Fury a concerned look as he said, “Hopefully you mean she won’t be out in the field since she is,” he paused as he continued quietly, “Pregnant.”

“No, I’ll be operating strictly from within the compound,” the agent replied. Steve gave an approving nod.

“Steve, I’m not so cruel as to make one of my own agent’s go out into the field while she is,” Fury paused as he looked Steve in the eye with his own before he continued. “Still in the process of human reproduction activities.”

Tony’s jaw dropped and he flung himself back with laughter. Clint snickered and Natasha slapped upside the back of his head. Bruce coughed to cover his laugh. Wanda was curled into Vision as she giggled. Rhodey and Sam smirked at each other. Peter’s face was bright red as he remembered the exact video they were referencing from his health class. Bucky tried to fight the smile as he glanced at Steve.

Steve’s mouth hung open and he quickly snapped it shut. He glared at Fury and swept his gaze around the room. “Until one of you steps up and tells me what the hell is going on, I will not be a part of any of these assignments.”

“Why, Mr. Rogers,” Tony said with feigned shock, “Do you kiss your mother with that mouth? Such language.”

\-----------------

The group stood in Tony’s workshop going over the new weapons that he just upgraded. Natasha twirled her new knives around her fingers as Clint adjusted his bow. Sam just put on his new pack when Steve walked in. Tony looked up from the holoscreen and smirked. 

“Hey, Cap, I got your new armor right here,” Tony gestured. Steve patted Sam on the shoulder and walked over to Tony.

He shrugged it on and wondered at the weightlessness of the armor. Rhodey watched from the couch and caught Tony’s eye. “You know, from one soldier to another, Rogers,” Rhodey started, “You know what the most important weapon is that we can have?”  
Steve looked up with eager eyes. Bucky sat down next to Rhodey and answered, “Math.”

Tony let the holoscreen fall from his hand to the table as he bent forward and cackled. Steve glared at Tony as he shucked off the new armor and dropped it to the floor. As he walked out of the room he shouted over his shoulder. “Let me know when you all want to stop behaving like the three-year-olds that you are.”

The glass door slid closed and not a beat later, Bruce didn’t even look up from the files he was reading. “But you know what’s better?” He paused. “Reading.”

Bucky and Rhody nearly slid off the couch as their laughter rose in pitch.

\------------

The Avengers were gathered in the common room after a rough mission. Everyone sat scattered across the couches and floor with some bad spy movie playing. The hero was just about to head into his enemy’s lair when he turned to his sidekick and said, “This just might be the toughest enemy we’ve ever had to face…”

Steve heard Sam snicker beside him. He turned to look at him to find he was already staring at him with a wide smile on his face. Before Sam had a chance to deliver his joke, Steve stood up in front of the TV with his arms crossed and said, “Friday, mute the TV.” He glared at the Avengers.

The rest of them started to shout and talk over each other for Steve to sit back down. Peter fidgeted on the couch and stood up. “Uh, Mr. Rogers.”

Everyone stopped talking as they watched the kid shuffled back and forth on his feet. Steve raised his eyebrow at him and waited for him to continue.

“Okay, so, um, you know how everyone has been, uh, laughing at…” Peter looked up at Steve then back at his feet. He took a big breath and said all at once, “Well, it’s because, I showed Mr. Stark the videos of you that you made for school.”

“Huh?” Steve said.

“You know, those educational videos?” Peter said, hesitantly.

“Educational-”

“I can show the Captain what you are talking about, Mr. Parker,” Friday said. The TV behind Steve lit up with red, white and blue colors as a band fanfare played over the speakers. Peter stared wide eyed at the screen as Steve slowly turned around to watch the screen.  
“You don’t have to be injected with a super secret government serum to have strong muscles and bones. A well balanced diet is one of the best ways to-”

Steve walked out of the room as the rest of the Avengers devolved into manic laughter.

\---------

Everyone was seated eating breakfast. Tony poured Bruce another cup of coffee when Steve came strolling in after his morning run, Sam not far behind him. The two sat down at the table. Clint shoved some plates of food towards them and reached for the box of Poptarts Thor hugged to his chest. The god offered one up and just before Clint took a bite, Bucky piped up from sink, “Watch out for that tooth decay.”

Snickers and giggles rippled through the kitchen. Steve set his head down on the table and groaned.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Hoped you liked and at least made you smile


End file.
